Every day was a struggle.  I had to wear a splint they made for me at the hospital.  It was the most uncomfortable thing and I hated wearing it.  I had to have physio which was also very painful.  I think what got to me the most was night time.  The pain was so excruciating that I could not sleep and when I did manage to fall asleep, I had the most hideous nightmares.  The painkillers were not working and I was a wreck so we went back to the doctor who gave me Trepoline.  He told me it was for nerve pain and I was so desperate I did not ask questions and at that stage the fact that it was an anti-depressant was not such a bad thing (there is a time and a place for these drugs). It did help with the pain and sleeping and that is what mattered to me most at that moment. 

It took me a very long time to regain the feeling in my leg and walk again.  I managed to get my driver’s license (first time around) in August 1998.  During the parallel parking, I had to get out and stretch my leg as all that riding the clutch was quite a bitch.  Luckily the man who was testing me understood…he had also been shot in his right leg, but he had shot himself by mistake.  

It took me at least a year to get back to being and feeling properly human again.  

The actual event…
Ok, so I suppose some people are intrigued to know what actually did go down in the club that night.  I did not find out the whole story until the court case months and months later.

There were two groups of guys who had an altercation.  One guy from the one group pulled out a 9mm firearm and shot 3 random shots.  There were four wounds from those three bullets.  There was another guy behind me who was shot in his shoulder.  The bullet travelled diagonally through his whole body and he died instantly.  He wasn’t even a meter behind me, but my back was turned towards him so I didn’t see him.  Then there was another guy who was standing between me and the shooter.  He got a bullet straight through his calf and another one straight through his abdomen.  This bullet then went into my hip after travelling through him.  We were all 18 years old at the time.  God was indeed watching over me that night!  If that bullet had gone straight into me, it would have severed my sciatic nerve, rendering me lame in my one leg for life. It could also have shattered my pelvis and damaged internal organs.  

The trial…
The court case carried on for a week.  The accused was from East London and had been visiting PE at the time of the shooting.  He was found guilty of 1 murder and 2 attempted murders.  He fake cried so many times and pleaded that he was remorseful and had gone into depression.  It was quite entertaining actually watching him pretend to be upset. During the trial, a social worker phoned me and asked my thoughts on what should happen to the accused.  I replied and said that he should definitely sit in jail and do community service because he had killed somebody. They twisted my words so badly in court and said that I did not want him to go to jail.  

The sentence…
I drove myself and my mom to court the day of the sentencing.  I decided to sit in the car while she went in because I did not know if I was emotionally strong enough to face the outcome.  When it was over, she got back in the car and told me he got 3 years house arrest.  No prison.  WHAT!?!?!?!  I could not believe it. Needless to say I threw my toys BIG time when I found this out.  Bastard!

The third party Lawyer…
We had been to a lawyer to put in a third party claim.  I gave my statement to him and we left it at that.  There were one or two more conversations with him and then nothing.  Phone calls made to his offices but he was never available.  He also never bothered returning my calls. Months went by and I gave up trying to find out what was going on.  About a year later I got a letter in the post to say that they were working on my claim and I should be able to claim something.  And that was the end of it.  Never heard from them again.  We also never received an account in the post.  Don’t lawyers charged for everything including the pen and piece of paper they write your statement on?  I just wanted to be able to repay my parents for all the expenses that were incurred over this time.  Back then I said I wanted to claim so I could get closure, but now I realise that money would never have given me closure.  I had to find it inside myself.

Today I am grateful for what the whole experience taught me.  I was 18 at the time and too young to understand it, but now I do.  I am grateful that God saved me that night and that I have complete mobility in my leg again.  I am grateful that I was shown compassion and love from all those around me who loved me.  I am grateful for life!

It took years for me to actually forgive, forget and move on. I think you only move on once you learn what you need to from the situation.  I suffered for years and realise it was only because I chose to suffer.  I created it in my own mind.  Once I let go of it, I was free to heal properly.