There are so many different perceptions of what love is. For me, the meaning of love has changed drastically over the years.
I used to think that love from someone else was something I needed in order to be complete. It was a fabricated ideal of what I ‘thought’ it was supposed to be, and this created a lot of tension and unhappiness when it didn’t meet my expectations. The influence of society has a lot to do with this. I see so many people these days who are desperate to find a partner in order for them to be happy. The truth is that YOU are already complete and you can only find happiness within yourself. It just takes this realization to change things.
After a break-up, we think that life is going to end. We attach our entire being to the outcome of the relationship and don’t realise that we lose ourselves in the process. We have lost our own value and sense of self, and we need someone else to validate us. (I used to be like this).
It was only after losing a love that I thought I would have forever (twice), that I started really taking a closer look at what love is.
Love/Connection is one of the 6 basic human needs, but you first have to love and connect with yourself, your inner being and your true essence. Self-acceptance can be the most challenging but necessary things you will ever do in your life.
Many people are ‘looking’ for the love of their life, but what they don’t realise is that that person is within them.
In my own experience, I have learnt that love cannot be contained or controlled. When you understand Oneness and that everything is connected, then things become a lot clearer. I am in you and you are in me, therefore saying “I love you” also means “I love me”.
Everyone is our mirror. The thing that bothers us most about someone else, is usually the thing that bothers us most about ourselves. Relationships are meant to help us grow and expand our consciousness. They trigger certain emotions and issues so that they can be brought to the fore and we can heal that part of us and transcend it. The only time that this works though is when both parties are on board with this and open to expressing themselves authentically, without the fear of being judged or rejected.
Loving someone is accepting that we all have shadows and different perspectives based on our own filters and belief system. It means that you are willing to work through the differences and help each other shift, heal and grow into a higher consciousness. Both people have to be willing and committed to this process.
When you can love without attachment or expectation, you have reached a very high level of freedom in life. There are no guarantees in life and no-one can promise that they will be able to commit to someone forever. I am not being cynical or negative, but sometimes people come into your life for a specific reason or lesson. I do believe though that it is a choice and you have to make that choice every single day. Some lessons are so painful (which they are meant to be) and we think that the person is not for us and we walk away. At times the person may not be for us and then you need to choose whether to stay or walk away. I also believe that if you do not finish a lesson with one person, it will come around again with someone else until you have learnt the lesson and transcended it.
For me, love is this…
Love is complete acceptance of oneself and others.
Love is give and receive.
Love is patient.
Love is non-judgement.
Love is non-attachment.
Love is self-worth.
Love is growth.
Love is awareness.
Love is consciousness.
Love is oneness.
Love is peace.
Love is me.
I was talking to myself in the mirror the a few months ago and came to a conclusion about love and oneness:
God is in everything
God is in you
God is in me
God loves you
God loves me
I love God in you
I love God in me
I love you in me
I love me in you
God is love
I am love
Instead of looking for the right person, work at being the right person.
Start by looking in the mirror
Love this. It’s strange because I’ve been learning these lessons and yets it’s so hard to get that mindset change to stick. I just keep trying and pushing forward as I believe this lesson of non attachment and no expectation is most vital. Another lessons that mighty hard is learning to look inside and love myself especially after all the things I’ve done in my life. But that’s another lesson on its own… Being in the now. So, off I go to work on these once more. Cheers