I had made the decision that I did not want to be on medication that was controlling my life, my mind and my physical being. I did not want to be ‘fake’ happy. I did not want to rely on a pill everyday for the rest of my life. I also wanted to have a baby at some stage and I was not happy to do that with these chemicals pumping through my body. But for now I had to be on them and figure out a way to be free of them for good.
It was 2005 at this stage. I went online and Googled my heart out. Searching for answers and to confirm these withdrawal symptoms I had been having from not taking my medication on some days. It was frightening but at the same time comforting to know just how many other people out there were going through the same thing that I was. I called my doctor in PE to tell him about what I had been experiencing and he said that he had never heard of such side-effects of coming off Effexor. I was in shock! I told him that I had found hundreds of cases online. He told me that he couldn’t believe that. Huh?
A friend of mine had suggested that I see her psychologist. I was willing to try anything that would help me so I made an appointment and went to see her. By this stage my anxiety was pretty bad again. She gave me some very valuable advice and taught me some breathing techniques that would help me when I felt anxious. She also told me her story. She had a brain tumour and with the help of a homeopath, she managed to shrink the tumour by 80% and then they cut the rest away. She gave me the name of her homeopath and I immediately made an appointment with him.
I saw the homeopath on and ongoing basis for about a year. I had different issues that he helped me with. I then decided it was time to start weaning off my Effexor properly.
Important Info:
When I started taking Effexor, I was put onto the 75mg dosage and they were capsules. Back then, you could get a 37.5mg dosage as well as in tablet form so that you could break them in half if you needed to. When I wanted to look into these options I found out that they had stopped making the 37.5mg and the tablet form. So they were just making it harder for someone to wean off them. Clever little bastards.
The only way you can get a script of the Effexor is from a GP or psychiatrist. So I went to my GP (who actually supported my quest for getting off drugs). I chatted to her about an alternative and she suggested I try Cipramil on the days I wasn’t taking the Effexor. Again I was not comfortable mixing drugs and felt it was not a step forward but I got the script for the Cipramil anyway as well as the repeat for the Effexor.
When I went to the pharmacy to get the stuff, I asked if there was by any chance a generic of Effexor that came in a lower dosage and they told me there was. It is called Venlor. Brilliant! I asked them to give me that one (still in the 75 mg dose). I needed to first swop onto those before I started reducing the dosage. It took some time and I did have some withdrawals, but I managed to get onto the Venlor. I then went back to my doctor and told her I wanted a script for both the 75mg and 37.5mg and I was going to wean down to the lower dosage.
With the help of my Homeopath I started weaning very slowly so as to keep the withdrawals to a minimum. 37.5mg every second day and 75 mg every other day. I still had withdrawals but I had to get used to the fact that it if I wanted to get off, I had to go through it. I remember clearly chipping all the plates when packing the dishwasher because of the brain tremors/brain shocks. You can read more here about SSRI discontinuation. (I wish Wikipedia was around back then)
I carried on the weaning process and made a calendar to stick up so I could remember what to take when. I had forgotten to take my contraceptive pill two days in a row (which was a first) but I could not double up after missing two. The next month I missed one and had to double up. I then started bleeding for 3 days in the middle of my cycle. It was not the same type of bleeding as my period and I was concerned so I went to the doctor and she told me that it sounded like a miscarriage. I was pregnant and I didn’t even know it. We were not even trying for a baby. I realised immediately though that there was a good reason for what happened. I was not ready to have a baby. I will not lie though, a part of me was sad about it. I did not know what I was in for after that! My hormones went CRAZY! It was like I was possessed. One minute I would be fine, next minute angry and screaming and then crying like a baby! I picked up weight without changing my diet. This lasted a good few months. I could not handle that plus the withdrawals from the medication so I went back onto the Venlor 75mg everyday.
…time to regroup and assess once again.
To be continued…
